When I was growing up a stereotype was someone who was into stereo's but these days it's a whole different ball park. Normally I would write heaps of nonsense before I got to "stereotype" and that would be deliberate, to keep you guessing see, it's a writing tool.
So, a man walked into a bar, he was a student comedian on a research assignment. So why wouldn't he do that? Then he took a chicken across the road to see how that works and then went into the woods to see if bears really shit in there. They do, but they don't like comedy students watching them so he ended up in hospital with a "Beware - Dangerous Animals" sign shoved up his ass. The bear was trying to be ironic but it just came across as sarcasm. It was a smart bear compared to our view of bears but in bear world he was just average.
The student comedian was called Jimbert Johnson, he ended up falling in love with the breakfast porter in the hospital. Seriously, I've been in hospital and this chick bringing the cereal and tea was wearing see through uniform, I could see her panty line without even using my imagination at all. So Jimbert quit comedy school to hang out with this chick and his parents were like "the clown quit clown school, fuck it, I give up". What is it with parents, they always give up. "Drugs?? I give up", "you're pregnant!! I give up", "you're adopted??!! I give up"
Ok, Marie got pregnant but it turned out it wasn't her's but in the meantime Jimbert married her at 22 (they were both 22, it's quicker). Then he got into a soul searching session after a night smoking pot with Steve, ditched her and went to Alaska where he learned dog sled racing and realised that "pulling together" is what it's all about so then he rushed back to Michigan and found her with an IT guy and a baby and said "Jesus fucking christ on a crutch Marie I've only been gone a week!"
They were baby sitting for the IT guy's sister and it turned out that that guy had been sleeping with our Jimbert's mother so he packed his stuff and went back to Alaska. Then, Marie packed up and went to Alaska too and the IT guy went back to our hero's mother and when Jimbert phoned his mother she said "you were adopted nitwit, couldn't you tell by the accent?" and then they all realised what fools they'd been and vowed never to see each other again. Or they all became great friends and moved in together, alternate ending.
Me? I looked into the crackling neon sign and listened to the waves breaking on the beach, the beer was warm, the air smelled of seaweed. As long as I couldn't find a reason to leave, I stayed.
JJ
